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Attention fans of the Hand. We are currently off the air. However, the makers of Talk To The Hand now have a new show. Its called JERKISH DELIGHT! More mashup mayhem for YOU! Tune in to Cable Access Channel 29 in San Francisco every Friday Night at 12:30AM (ok, thats actually Saturday morning) and witness the spectacle. Click HERE to visit the new website where you can find show dates and watch COMPLETE episodes! Thanks for supporting the (new) show!




Talk To The Hand Volume 1 & 2 DVDs are now available at San Francisco Amoeba Records! Check the cult TV DVD section!

Over 4 years in the making, The Very Best of Talk To The Hand Vol. 1 and 2 are now at the world's greatest record store!

Amoeba Music
1855 Haight Street
San Francisco, CA 94117
(415) 831-1200

Old TTTH News

02.07.10 Public Access Channel 29

Hello Friends. We at Talk To The Hand would like to apologize for the recent erratic broadcast date and times. Currently, Cable Access Channel 29 is going through a transition between ownership. We are currently scheduled to air every Sunday evening at 11pm on Cable Access Channel 29. This is rather hit and miss. But tune in anyway. Theres a good chance you'll catch one of our reruns. If you would like to be notified if and when we move to another date and time or if we have a special event coming up, please click contact and request to be added to our mailing list. Thank you for supporting the show!

07.18.09 "Monster Party Part 2!"

After yet another hiatus, the chimps at Talk To The Hand are back with a new mashup mindmeld! Hey... at least we vacation less than that retard 'Dubya' did. Just when you thought we had perfected the Monster Party, 'The Hand' deepfries it and unleashes a sequel. But this is no ordinary Partie Deux. Tune in and see teenage zombies, acid freakouts, 'Children of the Cob', cutlas supreme drivin' nosferatu and, finally, the ultimate cage match between Dracula and Frankenstien. Can you dig it? Tune it Saturday July 18th at 11pm on Cable Access Channel 29 and see!

05.09.09 "Prog TV Vol. 4"

This Saturday, Talk To The Hand tears you a new one! A new episode that is. Put on your colander foil hats because its time for yet another installment of Prog TV! In this show, we feature only local San Francisco Space Rock bands... that is, with the exception of a few transplants from Queens NY. But isn't San Francisco just a transient stop for the world weary poseur? This episode is sure to not disappoint. Smoke 'em if you got 'em cuz music videos from the likes of Six and Violence, Spacehenge, and even the Thorn Apples will adorn your cathode-lookatie box this Saturday May 9th at 11pm! Only on Cable Access Channel 29!

03.08.09 "Polkapocolypse!"

This Saturday March 7th (technically Sunday morning since it is after Midnight), tune it to San Francisco Comcast Cable 29 at 12:30am... You know, right when SNL gets really bad. Talk To The Hand presents an all new episode... "POLKA POCOLYPSE". That’s right, it’s Apocalypse Now? Apocalypse AND HOW! An all new show designed to aggravate all your current conditions. When the world is running down, Talk to the Hand is still around. (and much like financial institutions, pretty much good for nuttin’). Tune in to a special odd-essy hosted by Dr. Schlumpenschlepper, who like the clairvoyant contortionist, will FORESEE HIS OWN END. This Saturday, 12:30am (actually Sunday) on San Francisco Comcast Cable 29!

02.01.09 "Apes a 'Poppin!"

Check it out! The chumps at Talk To The Hand have prepared a new episode just for you! Thats right... the 'Hand' presents "Apes a 'poppin!". Finally, a mashup dedicated to every kind of primate behavior including Shatner monkey love, rocking groovy chimps, psychic shenanigans, drugs, booze, and possessed nincompoops. If that wasn't enough, see the ultimate country western tribute to the mentally challenged! Tune in this Sunday morning, February 1st at 12:30am... think of it as late Saturday night!

01.24.09 "Monster Party Enhanced!"


TTTH presents our latest mashup clipshow airing on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 this Saturday January 24th at 12:30AM PST (actually thats Sunday morning... but Saturday just sounds hipper). This weeks show is a special ENHANCED version of our classic Monster Party episode! See Martians, hippies, hot and sexy gun toting babes, werewolf bikers, pot fiends, and the Governator... plus never before seen (in a satirical context) footage. Must see TV for a musty TV!

01.17.09 "Bye Bye Bushie!"

Tune it for a special Bush send off episode this Saturday night at 12:30am (yes, technically Sunday morning, but still during Saturday night to all you party people). Check it on Cable 29 in San Francisco. Bye Bye Bushie! You will laugh, you will cry... you will mostly cry. Talk To The Hand is not responsible for cases of hives, nausea, or ennui. Did we mention we have DVDs for sale (just in time for the economic boom... boom as in giant explosion!). Check out our store!

10.09.08 "Dunce Fever!"

Its an all new episode of Talk To The Hand! Yes, that's right... dunces rule! You know it, we know it. Its a brand new Talk To The Hand guaranteed to numb the mind! Its FREE so take it while you can still afford cable! Better than watching those presidential masterdebaters! Tune in San Francisco to Cable 29, 10:00pm this Thursday Oct. 9th!

08.14.08 "Exit The Dragon Vol. 2"

Forget the Olympics! Watching all those buff athletes makes us all feel like losers! Watch Talk to the Hand and feel like WINNER! (You look DAMN good next to our ALL NEW EPISODE!!!). This episode puts the DOPE in DOPING and makes all those athletes look like Wheaties! Our Gold Medals include "Best Arnold Schwarzenegger Public Service Announcements", "Most Ridiculous Dragon Movie" and the ever so popular, "Most Appropriate Use of Hawkwind with Vintage Japanese Animae". Tune in to Channel 29 this Thursday at 10pm, turn on, and drop out... and stop dragon my heart around!

06.12.08 "Exit The Dragon Vol. 1"


Talk To The Hand is screaming back through the stratosphere with an all new episode! If you see just one crackpot public access TV show this summer, if you decide to squander 30 minutes of precious life watching the electric hellfire of television, then this is the one to watch. Putting the "bust" in blockbuster, Talk To The Hand brings you an episode so spectacular, so filled with gooey center, so mammoth it is woolly, this is MUST SEE TV. Set your DVRs now! Krazy glue your eyes to the TV screen NOW so that you are ready! Host a house party with a dragon pinata. Buy an extra TV because this is TOO MUCH TV for TV! You have never seen anything like it. We have never seen anything like it, and we've seen it already! Tune in to Channel 29, Thurs. at 10pm!

05.22.08 "The Fresno and Foley Show"

In this month's episode, The 'Freaquinox' program, that was aired back in March, is observed and dissected by two of the Bay Area's truly unique personalities: Dr. Kelly Foley and his associate local music legend Brian Kenny Fresno. Tune in to Channel 29, Thurs. at 10pm and witness the blow-by-blow commentary as these two titans of tenet analyze and interpret our video weirdness as only they can!

04.10.08 "The Cease and Desist Show"

Attention friends! If ever there was a show that could get our asses shut down, this has got to be THE ONE . At the very least, you’ll never eat at Red Lobster ever again. Thats right... Talk To The Hand is back with a REAL mashup episode... and this sucker is a 50 car pileup! Irwin Allen couldn’t make a greater comedic disaster! Its a totally wicked mad show in the ’old skew-el’ tradition. No plot, no rearview mirror, no brakes, no licence... just a lot of nudity, violence, ’F’ bombs, viewer call-ins... and showtunes! Tune in to Channel 29, Thurs. at 10pm and find out what all the hub bub is... BUB!

03.13.08 "Freaquinox"

In this episode, we feature footage from the "Freaquinox" event held at the 12 Galaxies nightclub in San Francisco on 03.14.08. Our team of technicians swiped a video of the strange and bong-friendly spaced-out visuals that were projected at the show. Join us on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 at 10:00pm and check psyriously psychedelic imagery set to the space rock of the Bay Area's own Lopsided Space Kart.

01.24.08 "Prog TV Vol. 2"

Talk to the Hand is ON! Put on your boots and tune up your flutes because its time for Part 2 of our Progressive Rock series! Thats right folks, we dug DEEP into the archives for the really rare fare... or should we say 'faire'... as in renaissance baby!!! We're featuring ELP, Genesis, Floyd, etc. etc. Oh wait, are those are the ONLY bands featured because their damn songs are 10 minutes long each? Well don't despair... stay at home and have a PROG DANCE PARTY with The Hand... if you have 3 legs that is. Tune in to Cable Channel 29 at 10pm!!!

10.20.07 "The MTV (Morons Televising Vomit) Awards"

The HAND is back with a new show! This week we tear MTV a new one with a scathing dissection of the cultural vacuum otherwise known as the Video Music Awards. Tune in and see what happens when today's marginally talented music icons fall prey to the editing software wielding primates of Talk To The Hand! Special Guest appearance by Ernest Borgnine! Tune in this Saturday 10/20 at 10:30pm on Cable Access Channel 29!

10.04.07 "Talk To The Hand's Greatest Hitz"


Saturday! Saturday! Saturday! Our fans wanted it, they've got it! Its "Talk To The Hand's Greatest Hitz"! Tune in to Cable Access Channel 29 on 10/6 at 10:30pm for all the mayhem. Now you can witness some of our best mashups neatly edited into a tidy 28.5 minutes... with no fatty filler or bitter aftertaste. Come relive those bone-crushing comedic moments from yesteryear. Why drown yourself in the flatulent cesspool of San Francisco's overpriced bar scene when we can do it for you in the comfort of your own living room? Support The Arts and TUNE IN!

08.18.07 "Talk To The Hand goes on Vacation"

August 18th the Hand ’phones it in’ with "Talk To The Hand goes on Vacation"... a brand new episode!!! More bad behavior, beats per minute, and boogy-oogy than any show in the history of (public access) television. Can your eyes resist the quixotic quest of Tony Manero’s faustian foibles? Can your heart stand the bone crushing velocity of Jimmy Stewart’s bad ass-cid driving instruction? Can your ears resist the shocking answer to the question "Wheres the beef?"?!? Tune in this Saturday at 10:30pm on Cable Access Channel 29 and find out!

06.16.07 "Shexy Shensual Show"

Its suds, buds, and spuds this Saturday June 16th, 10:30pm on San Francisco Access Cable 29 at YOUR HOUSE! Talk To The Hand goes a little too far and explores the very loose connections between the art of seduction, pot smoking suburban Christians, cavemen in loincloths, Coyote Ugly, and everything else that is wrong with TV! You'll wish it would end like the Sopranos... but IT WON'T!!! Run to the hills! Let's watch Tee Vee! TALK TO THE HAND! An all NEW episode! Rated 'R'! Unnecessary, but somehow compelling!

06.02.07 "Prog TV Vol. 1"

Talk to the Hand is ON this Saturday June 2nd at 10:30!!! Forget that date with Brad and Angelina, tonight is Talk to the Hand’s nod to PROGRESSIVE ROCK. Rare videos and more notes than are legally allowed in any single piece of music. Stay at home and have a PROG DANCE PARTY (if you have 3 legs). Its time for tales of Gentle Jethros Floyding Crimson Camels!

03.17.07 "Shamrock Show"

A new show? That's right! Lads and lasses, sit down on your asses and celebrate thee yuck of the Irish by watching a new TTTH episode this weekend! Where else can you see Bond, banshees, butter churning, and baked leprechauns all on one magical night? No where mate! So come get a shillelagh of chuckles right in the lucky charms! Join 'The Hand' this Saturday at 10:30pm on Channel 29! Saints preserve us!

02.17.07 "The Lost Episode"

Finally a NEW episode offering more video mash-up than a boiled potato whipped upside your head! In this weeks episode we explore the uncanny similarities between LIDSVILLE and the BUSH ADMINISTRATION, especially where Dick Cheney and Horatio J. HooDoo are concerened. Throw in a whole lot of vintage nudity, vague stupidity and stuff we stole off the interweb, and you gots yourself a classic baby!

01.20.07 "Xmas In Space"

In this month's episode, we're featuring footage from the "Xmas In Space" event held at the 12 Galaxies nightclub in San Francisco back on 12.17.06. Our team of technicians swiped a video of the strange and bong-friendly holiday-themed visuals that were projected at the show. Join us this Saturday January 20th on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 at 10:30pm and have your DNA altered by this psyriously psychedelic imagery set to the space rock of the Bay Area's own Lopsided Space Kart.

01.06.07 "Return of The Hand... with a repeat"

Talk To The Hand celebrates its return to the airwaves with an encore presentation of the infamous "Let's Get Loaded" episode! Tune in this Saturday at 10:30pm on Cable Access Channel 29 for all the mayhem! This show features boozin', brawlin', Bush bashing, bawdy bloopers, bad bands, brow-less boners, and brains from space! Be sure to check out Channel 29 every 1st and 3rd Saturday at 10:30pm for new and used episodes for 2007!

10.07.06 "Sci Fi Extravaganza Part 2"

The empire strikes WHACK on your cable TV Saturday night at 10:30pm with "Sci Fi Extravaganza Part 2". This is musty, I mean, MUST SEE, TV! Talk to the Hand goes beyond science fact to science friction on this one folks! Tune in to Cable Access Channel 29 and pray your gravity boots don't malfunction!

08.19.06 "Sci Fi Extravaganza Part 1"

TTTH returns with a new episode! Tune in this Saturday at 10:30pm on Cable Access Channel 29 for our intergalactic journey to the center of the space warped mutant overlords that inhabit Uranus! This episode features wars on stars, trekking with stars, running with logan, frankenfish, bigfoot and 'Sponge Bob Inyourpants'... check it out!

06.17..06 "Let's Get Loaded! Part 2"


Due to overwhelming outcry from last months episode, this months show resolves all the cliffhangers. And you'll find out who gets off the island... it's SASQUATCH! Plus Bay To Breakers footage! Talk to the Hand's local crew brought down $50,000 dollars worth of gear and a crane and shot the nudity, mayhem, and bufoonery of the Bay to Breakers race! Tune in this Saturday at 10:30pm on Cable Access Channel 29 and see it all!

05.20.06 "Let's Get Loaded! Part 1"

TTTH has finally finished a new episode! Check it out cuz this one has got to be our loudest show yet! Tune in this Saturday at 10:30pm on Cable Access Channel 29 for all the mayhem! This episode features boozin', brawlin', Bush bashing, bawdy bloopers, bad bands, brow-less boners, and brains from space!

05.06.06 We Have A New Time Slot on Cable Channel 29!!!

Due to bad luck at the Cable Access Television scheduling lottery, Talk To The Hand is now on at 10:30pm every 1st and 3rd Saturday of every month. Sorry for the inconvenience folks. Hey! It wasn't our fault. Its only a half hour later. Seriously, what did you have planned otherwise... huh? A date? Look... all you want to do is end up on a couch with your 'date' anyway right? So, lets just forget all about that stuff, tune in tonight at 10:30pm, and we'll celebrate our new time slot together... with a repeat.

03.28.06 Talk to the Hand on MySpace

Are you a member of MySpace? Visit us at our new online community location! Join our group of friends and be notified of up and coming shows and other news. Click here to get started:

www.myspace.com/talktothehandshow


03.11.06 "Talk to the Hand Goes Commercial!"

After yet another lazy-ass hiatus, the TTTH technicians have finally squeezed out a new episode! Tune in this Saturday at 10pm on Cable Access Channel 29 for our latest mashup! This episode features an assortment of commercials that you won't wanna skip with your Tivo! Want more? How about sexy safety films, safe sex films, Walmart bashing, web short classics, viewer call-ins, and Karen Carpenter!

12.10.05 "The Id Show"

TTTH apologizes for the wait and the reruns. But wipe your tears away Fanny May cuz we're back with a new episode! Our return installment examines Intelligent Design, Evolution, copyright infringement, vile celebrities, our species today, and more monkeys than you can throw feces at! Check it out on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 this Saturday December 10th at 10pm PST.

10.22.05 "Talk To The Hand Halloween Special"

TTTH presents a special Halloween mashup airing on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 Saturday October 22nd at 10pm PST. This weeks episode features... viewer call-in characters, neocon wolves and how to spot them, drug addicts, monkey love, horror clips and The Great Pimpkin!

09.10.05 "Talk To The Hand Rock"

In this month's episode, we've got body rockin' kung fu fightin' and hip hop hippitty hop. WARNING! Shocking MIME VIOLENCE is featured in this show. Check it out on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 this Saturday September 10th at 10pm PST.

08.13.05 "After School Freakout"

In this month's episode, TTTH captured another live concert event held at the fabulous Xenodrome space in San Francisco. This performance features local bands such as Eenor, Cooking With Kurt, Jai Young Kim, The Noodles and other stimuli. Check it out on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 this Saturday August 13th at 10pm PST.

07.23.05 "Talk To The Hand Monster Party"

TTTH presents our latest mashup airing on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 Saturday July 23rd at 10pm PST. This weeks episode features... Martians, hippies, hot and sexy gun toting babes, werewolf bikers, pot fiends, and the Governator!

06.11.05 "Tour of Nick and Jessica's Duty"

Recently, Nick and Jessica Simpson went to entertain the troops, and turn it into an special television event called "Nick and Jessica's Tour of Duty". We all know how entertaining war is, and what a great opportunity it is for product placement and general mind numbing distraction. Their TV special was the MOST obscene and outrageous thing we have seen in a long time, so the angry apes at ttth.net took action.

05.14.05 "Mother's Day Telespectacusode"

TTTH presents our latest mashup airing on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 Saturday May 14th at 10pm PST. This weeks show features a belated tribute to mothers everywhere... and a bunch of other stuff that has nothing to do with your mama. Enjoy!

04.09.05 "Episode in a Coma"

TTTH presents our latest mashup airing on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 Saturday April 9th at 10pm PST. This weeks episode features... The "Culture of Life", republicans, zombies, republican zombies, lethal bras and metal!

03.12.05 "Cosmic Freakout at the Xenodrome"

In this month's episode, TTTH captured a live concert event held at the fabulous Xenodrome space in San Francisco. This performance features local bands such as Carney Ball Johnson, Cooking With Kurt, Jai Young + Jesse Quattro and other stimuli. Check it out on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 this Saturday March 12th at 10pm PST. Rock!

02.12.05 "Valentine's Day Massacre"

TTTH presents our latest mashup airing on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 Saturday February 12pm at 10pm PST. This weeks episode features... love Love LOVE, romance, hot sexy Bush inauguration lowlights, torture, and psychodelia!

01.16.05 Website Launch

Talk To The Hand is officially on the web. Now you can watch clips of past episodes as well as find out when we're airing a new show. All TTTH related news, info and legal actions will be noted here too.

01.11.05 "Black Tuesday" Episode runs on PirateCat

Pirate Cat, the most prestigious pirate radio station in San Francisco, expanded to TV this New Years Day and TTTH's "Black Tuesday" episode was the first show to air. They seem to like our stuff, so check out their website for future TTTH broadcasts.

01.08.05 "They Still Live"

TTTH presents our latest mashup airing on San Francisco Public Access Station Channel 29 tonight January 8th at 10pm PST. This weeks episode features... Rowdy Roddy Piper, Alien Mind Control, Bush, Chimps, Rockets, Explosions and questionable Japanese films.

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Do you have a DVR? Talk to the Hand is now one click away for easy recording so you can use your remaining brain cell for important stuff like walking, talking, and watching TV. Currently, Comcast Cable 29 SF lists most shows with a generic "To Be Announced" header. That includes 'The Hand'. Please manually set your DVR to record our show using our current posted date and time. Some day, we hope to have our name in lights. But for now, please pretend it is 1979 and you are programming the old VCR. Again, sorry for the inconvenience.